(The comments expressed in the column are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of the Journal
By DON BARNES
The Israelis have developed a new airport security device that will eliminate full body scanners and stop “profiling” as well as avoid any lawsuits. It is an armored booth you step into that will not X-Ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on your person.
So, if you are in the airport and you hear a muffled explosion, followed by “Attention to all standby passengers, we now have a seat available on flight 670 to London” you know it is working. It’s a win-win situation.
I have invited the national press to broadcast an event from the top of the World’s Highest Hill. It’s kind of like that annual event when a groundhog comes out of a cage and determines how long winter will last. My idea is to let an armadillo out of a cage and if he sees his shadow, Barack Obama will be reelected for four more years as “the leader of the formerly free world”.
Fellow “Okie” Toby Keith was on Mike Huckabee’s Fox television show Saturday night and they pitched Toby’s latest record album “Clancy’s Tavern” a song about Toby’s grandmother who used to operate a bar in Fort Smith called Billy Garner’s Supper Club (true story).
Not funny, just interesting.
“Huck” gave everyone in the audience a copy of the CD. Next week he is giving them Bibles.
Texas governor and republican presidential candidate Rick Perry says the only way he will participate in any further debates is if they will let him use a speech writer and Obama’s teleprompter.
I don’t see how the republican candidates for president will ever be able to be elected to serve as president of the United States. Not a one of them has ever been a community organizer or is a friend of ACORN and the Black Panthers.
Presidential candidate Herman Cain says he has been falsely accused of sexually harassing two women in their nineties. Or, was it “the nineties”?
Newt Gingrich told Herman not to worry about it because that’s what his first two wives said about him. And, also Newt’s present wife has been offered a job as a “news anchor” on Fox News . And why not? She is qualified because she has a pretty face and long blond hair and knows all of the “dumb blonde jokes”.
And, as part of the deal, she gets to have Newt on her show every night and let him sell copies of his latest book. You “must” have a book to get on Fox News.
Utah Congressman Jason Chaffetz gave Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napalitano and Attorney General Eric Holder the dickens during a hearing last week about the “Fast and Furious” issue where the Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms department gave thousands of guns and ammunition to the Mexican drug cartels and a couple of border agents were killed with them.
True to their “transparent form” both said “they did not know anything about it”. That seems to be the norm when any of Barack’s “chosen ones” get caught with their pants down, to simply claim “ignorance”. That way, no one doubts them. Obama said “someone will be held responsible” for the “fast and furious debacle” that took place a few months ago. Do you reckon he means Bush did it?
Speaking of illegal immigrants, have you heard that our United States economy is so bad now that the border agents are having trouble keeping Americans from sneaking into Mexico? The economy is so bad that when I got a check from my bank marked ”insufficient funds” I called to find out if they meant mine or theirs?
The Whirlpool plant in Fort Smith is closing down next year. Their refrigerators will be made in Mexico and give those jobs to Mexicans who will take all the jobs they can get from us Americans.
The refrigerators will still be sold in the United States and with every one of them you will get a free “kilo of cocaine”. The Whirlpool executives said “the work force here is excellent”. It’s the union wages they can’t afford.
Mexico bought the OK Foods chicken processing plant at Heavener. They bought it with the money sent to them every week by the plant workers.
Remember: “In God We Trust”.